It's like running a marathon. Or really training to run a marathon. Some training runs are fantastic, fulfilling and satisfying. Others are a grind. It's a good analogy for school. It's also an analogy that I can't take credit for, but that is an apt one for me.
This piece of wisdom helped me to successfully complete the final week of my first semeester back in school. That and another piece of advice. I'd forgotten to check in with my heart; I was, instead caught up in the chaos of my head which was telling me that it had been a long time since I'd been in school (a fact that is true), that I'm not really much of a student and it had me questioning on a daily basis whether or not I was capable of pursuing this graduate degree. But in my heart, I am confident that I can to the job that I want when I am done; the job that they are training to be even better at than I could be at this moment in time. College Counselor. The college piece I have down (well, for the most part) and the counselor piece I will have once I am done. So a reminder to listen to my heart when my anxiety level rises will help me get through the next three years.
So that conversation with a trusted confidante was the beginning of a change in me. That same day in our growth group, I took a big risk by sharing much more deeply than I had previously shared. It wasn't easy and it wasn't comfortable and I certainly didn't like the attention paid to me as a resullt, but it was cathartic. Eventually.
I woke up on Thursday morning in a funk, having left class the night before feeling pretty heavy and nervous about the work yet to be done. While I started my run with the gals up toward Barr Trail, I realized quickly that I wouldn't have a good run if I tried to keep up with them. I was tired from a night of fitful, nervous sleep and I was afraid I'd just get discouraged and only sink deeper into my mood. I couldn't afford that as I had a paper to work on and a test to study for. So I ran Ute pass on my own and met the girls back at The Mate Factor for my first Mate experience. Sitting with them, having made a good decision, I felt the weight begin to lift.
So I plan to tap my inner wisdeom when I feel the anxiety starting to escalate. I know I can do this job. I've gotten good feedback from my professor who teaches the lab section about my fit in this program and my natural ability to connect with clients (which will be students and I KNOW that is true).
And besides the inner wisdome, a Mate or two might help as well!
