Blustery Day

"Happy Winds-day, Piglet" said Pooh

"Well....it isn't...very ...happy f-for me," said Piglet.

"Where are you going Piglet?" asked Pooh.

"That's what I'm asking myself, where?  W-whoops!!  P-p-pooh!!!"

AA Milne

It has been a windy spring.  I'm trying hard to see the deeper meaning and I'm not having much success.  Today is among the windiest we've had.  Really a blustery day as I imagine the day to be when Pooh and Piglet had the above conversation.  Snowflakes whirling about, stinging checks but not settling with any permanence at all.  I sometimes feel a lot like Piglet.  I opted not to fight the wind today and skipped a run in hopes of better weather options tomorrow. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but I had visions of myself hanging on for dear life, just like little piglet.  I wouldn't describe myself as fragile (and I guess I wouldn't describe Piglet that way either) but vulnerable yes.  So I guess I woke up feeling vulnerable; like the wind would take control.

My friend Erica loves the wind because so few of the rest of us do and for so many other reasons.  Reasons that gave me pause and that I value, but they don't help me be anymore at peace with the wind.  Here's what she wrote when I asked her why she likes the wind:

 "I like thinking about where it was right before it got here, and where it came from originally (if it came from somewhere originally).  And if it didn't come from somewhere else, what made it windy here?  If it's windy here, is there a lack of wind somewhere else and vice versa?"

This is what really made me think though,

"I also love that it's invisible., but makes trees move and the branches slap each other with a racket.  And that something that's invisible has texture and sound...I also like that it usually means that the weather is about to change, and I like change."

 I don't always like change, but for a long time I've been feeling on the verge of change or maybe seeking change....so maybe that's why this spoke so loudly to me.  I am impatient in awaiting that change and I am certainly impatient with this wind.

And finally,

"I also like that sometimes things get away from us in the wind, and there's not a whole lot we can do about it.  It's just gone.  And then I like thinking about the fact that the wind moves on..."

Maybe I wish that I could be like this.  Be okay with letting things just get away.  I crave control, but really, how much control do I really have?  Or do I really need?  

So I sit here attempting to find a sense of peace as I listen to the wind whistling around my house, rattling my doors and swirling the snow.  It's loud enough that it wakes Sydney from her afternoon slumber every few moments.  And while it feels very unsettling to me, maybe this spring windstorm is taking away what I don't need and opening up the possibility for whatever it will leave on my doorstep...